The Distraction of "They’re Looking at Me"
The Trap of Being Seized by Attention
During another moment on our bike ride, my daughter noticed a grandmother and her grandson walking on the opposite side of the street. The second she realized they were watching her, it wasn’t fear that gripped her heart—it was adoration! She became fixated on their attention, and suddenly, she lost her balance. In an instant, her passion for riding safely and successfully in the direction she was heading was replaced by the thrill of noticing, your being noticed.
As I reflect on this, I recognize the danger of this particular distraction—one that had its clutches deep in my soul for a considerable period of time.
Distraction comes in many forms, and they are all lethal. One of the most subtle yet dangerous distractions is the thought: "They’re looking at me!" I believe this to be true for a few reasons, but here’s one of the main ones: it’s easier, both personally and collectively, to identify when someone is seeking attention. However, when someone is seized by attention, the symptoms can be much more difficult to detect.
In my daughter’s case, she quickly learned the danger of taking her eyes off where they should be simply because someone was looking at her. To put it another way: Whatever captures you, becomes your captain. The real question then becomes: How do we recognize when we’ve been hijacked?
A Struggle That Exists in the Church
Because of our human nature, we as believers cannot assume this is just a secular issue. It is alive and well within the Church. In today’s social media-driven culture, we have dangerously linked elevation and excellence with attention—the eyes of men. More followers, more likes, more visibility—these have become our measures of success. But what happens when our focus shifts from God to those watching us?
Unlike my daughter’s sudden loss of control on her bike, when "They’re looking at me" begins to drive, you lose far more than balance. It can destroy marriages, ministries, and entire communities. I have seen the fallout firsthand, and it is heartbreaking beyond words.
Jesus, help us see You rightly and focus on You alone!
A Personal Battle
In my flesh, I would love to say that I have never struggled with this distraction—that every time it reared its ugly head, I crushed it with ease. But that would be far from the truth. This has been one of the most frequent and formidable battles in my life. If left unchecked, its claws are ready to grasp me at any moment.
But thanks be to God, who leads us in triumph through His name (2 Corinthians 2:14). Jesus has invited me into a freedom I once thought was impossible.
I have been involved in music ministry since my teenage years. Now, at 43, I have had the joy of partnering with Jesus in this work for 24 years. For many of those years, this distraction sowed a deep poison in my soul—a slow but steady unraveling of my heart from all that God had purposed.
But today, I am a testimony to the utter failure of every weapon formed against me—including this one.
If you are reading this and find yourself trapped in this web of distraction, hear this: The Spirit of the Living God is breaking the blinders and binders of the enemy. Every distraction breaks now, in Jesus’ name and by His blood!
A Moment of Clarity
As someone in platform ministry, the temptation of "They’re looking at me" is a constant trap. Frankly speaking, if shrinking our stages and dimming our LED lights helps us refocus on Jesus alone, then so be it!
One particular lesson stands out.
In the summer of 2021, I was invited to lead worship for a weekend in Sacramento. I was excited because we were doing one of my original songs. It went well—I was on cloud nine! This song was part of an upcoming full-length record I was preparing for, and seeing it resonate in an unfamiliar setting was a huge confidence (in this case, ego) boost.
What I hadn’t realized was that the work I was doing had slowly started to define my identity. That’s part of what being seized by "They’re looking at me" does. Outwardly, I was projecting God-confidence, but inwardly, I was desperately trying to plug the holes in my heart with the approval, admiration, expectations, and opinions of others.
Around that same time, I learned through a friend that a well-known worship artist was hosting a live recording just down the coast in SoCal. It made perfect sense for me to be there.
This was my moment, my season! Or so I thought.
Determined to network, I made my way through the event, shaking hands, introducing myself, and ensuring people knew who I was and what I was working on. But then, a conversation shifted everything.
A man approached me and asked, “Hey Onaje, tell me about yourself.”
I immediately launched into my rehearsed response:"Well, I’m a worship artist, and I’ve served with [so-and-so] for 12 years. I’ve written songs that have gone around the world and been part of a global ministry…”
He stopped me."No, no—that’s what you do. Tell me who you are.”
Just like that, my mind went blank. I felt like an old TV screen filled with static—nothing there. I had no answer.
This distraction had its claws so deep in me that I couldn’t even distinguish where it began or ended. But that question marked the start of a process—God Himself began excavating, extracting, and ultimately healing my hole-ridden heart.
The Cost of Misplaced Focus
This struggle isn’t unique to me. A powerful example in Scripture is found in 1 Samuel 13—the story of Saul.
At this moment, the Israelites were preparing for battle, and they were severely outnumbered. Rather than seeking God, Saul allowed the silent expectations of those around him to dictate his decisions. He chose sacrifice over obedience.
The result? Samuel told him that his kingdom would come to an end because God had sought a man after His own heart.
Keeping Our Eyes on Jesus
The orientation of our eyes is crucial.
For my daughter, losing focus on the road because others were looking at her cost her balance. In my life, I spent years idolizing opportunity and the expectations of others—but God, in His mercy, provided a moment of clarity.
For Saul, his misplaced focus cost him everything.
I pray that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we will see fewer and fewer leaders fall because of the distraction of "They’re looking at me."
Jesus, let Your mercy meet us. Send people and moments that shake us, no matter how uncomfortable, so that we may choose obedience over sacrifice.
No more sacrificing the fullness found in Jesus. No more ministry and family implosions.
Holy Spirit, convict us! Reveal every hidden place where this distraction tries to grow like mold.
Father, keep our eyes on You!
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